The Mama Marathon is a Mental Sport

A sudden gust of wind takes my breath away as I reach the top of the hill. My legs feel like jello and my lungs burn. My body is done, but I will not give in. I tell myself repeatedly as I attach the next hill that I am at peace, I am strong, I am unstoppable! Suddenly all the pain fades to the background and all I can see is my goal in front of me. I will achieve it. I will obtain it.

Running is a mental sport. Coming from a woman who has run a lot of her life and ran a half marathon almost in the third trimester of pregnancy, I can tell you this statement is true. Your body will try to tell you that you have given it your all, when it is actually just adjusting to the new stress you are putting on it. If you push through the pain, it will pass, and you will begin to hit this sweet spot of running where you could go on forever. It’s like this wall your body needs to go around before it catches on that it’s an okay activity.

I feel like I am running a marathon as a mama. There are beautiful times when I love being a mom, and then I hit these walls that almost stop me dead in my tracks, and I wonder if I am doing anything right. I feel fulfilled and accomplished as a mom after baking sugar free sourdough blueberry muffins for breakfast and cleaning the whole house before the kids even wake up. Then I hear what my high school friend just achieved in her career or drive by the beautiful new home in our neighborhood, and I can feel like nothing.

Anyone outside the four walls of my home often never sees half the things I accomplish in a day. My days are FULL and to anyone else, I am staying at home, without a job, living the easy life. In fact, as a wedding videographer, I get asked often if I do it full time. When I tell people, especially women, that I just do it on the side, because I am a stay-at-home mom, they look at me and say, “Oh isn’t that so nice that you get to do that. I wish my husband made enough money for me to stay home. It would be so nice just to stay home all day.”

It is in moments like these that I must bite my tough, smile, and say, “Yes. It is truly wonderful.” Yet, deep down, I was just hit with a massive wall I now must climb over to feel fulfilled and successful in my life choices. Sometimes it is easier than others. When I am pursuing my day with an eternal mindset, it is easy to brush aside comments like this, because I am pursuing something greater. Something a job or money could never fulfill in my life.

As a stay-at-home mom I get hit with these passive aggressive comments and opinions often. They can make me feel less than or unaccomplished, but I am realizing that when fellow moms make comments like this, it is because they do not fully understand what it takes to be a proactive mother and all that you have to GIVE UP, or they are trying to justify their life choices as a mother.

Anyone can be a mom, but only the fearless can be great. All it takes is one passionate moment and you could have a new job description. Most women do not consider making it their full-time job, but for those of us who do, we know it is the hardest job we have ever had. It is even harder when you are trying to do it well. We don’t get to leave the office and finish up on Monday, we don’t get weekends off, or time and half for overtime, and we don’t get recognition for our outstanding work. Most of the time, our work goes unnoticed, unappreciated, and is unending. We have to budget living on one paycheck, and reevaluate priorities daily to combat the needs of our family.

It is hard to measure your success when everyone else in the world is using a different measuring system. Motherhood is a mental sport, because we must continually overcome these internal battles with ourselves of how we measure our success. In a world that screams health, wealth, prosperity, it is hard to view yourself as successful when you're scrubbing a spit up stain out of your favorite shirt.

We must continually remind ourselves that we are living by a different standard. We are measuring our success not based on the numbers in our bank account but in the number of moments that have eternal value. The mission of radical motherhood is the greatest success even if the rest of the world does not see its value. Being a mama is the most important job you could ever have. It is also the most rewarding.

My dear friends and I were talking about this the other day. We each have to continually evaluate as stay-at-home moms where we are defining our value and purpose. When all your other “professional” identities are stripped away, what are you left with? I must define who I am in Christ alone. Carissa plus nothing. I am enough because of Christ. I do not need to prove myself or live up to the standards of those around me. The things I do have the most value when they are what the Lord has called me to.

Even though this mission is hard, why would we ever want to give up these priceless moments that will last for eternity for something that is only temporary? The world will never understand our value, and we must remind ourselves over and over again that by choosing to be a mama full time, we are fulfilling the greatest purpose we could ever be given and achieving success that could never be earthly measured!

This is not something to take lightly. I have been called to radically live a life worthy of the mission set before me. The Lord has prepared this for me in advance, so that I may walk in it. (Eph. 2:10) The moment I saw those two red lines, my life’s purpose and mission shifted. It would never be the same, and I would never wish it away.

As these walls hit us in our mama marathon, we must scream truth to ourselves even louder than the lies the world screams at us. What we are doing is so much bigger than this world or anything it has to offer. I would rather live a poor life on earth and a rich one for eternity, than to build my kingdom here only to see it fade away in a breath.

Jesus promised us that following Him would be hard here on earth. “If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.” (John 15:20) “Indeed, all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.” (1 Timothy 3:12) We choose to live so radically different that the world does not understand. People are scared of things they don’t understand or jealous of things that they wish they had. Often that results in a form of persecution. Yet, with an eternal mindset, we can achieve peace and fulfillment amidst the passive aggressive comments of the women’s movement in our time.

I was born for such a time as this! (Ester 4:14)

I can have freedom in my life to choose what I feel the Lord is calling our family to, regardless of what anyone thinks of me. I can poor my heart and soul into things no one will ever notice, and no one will thank me for, because I am doing them for Jesus, not myself.

When the walls hit me, I will push through the uncomfortable pain, reminding myself,

I am Loved, I am Chosen, I am Fulfilled

I am pursuing success the world can only dream of achieving.

Keeping an eternal mindset is a daily battle, and that is why the radical mama marathon is a mental sport. We can only go as far as our minds let us. This will be a continuous battle. It is not a once and done. Satin will attack at any given moment, and we must be on guard, ready to defend our purpose. Fighting any attempt to distract us from this radical mission.

“I thank Him who has given me strength, Christ Jesus our Lord, because He judged me faithful, appointing me to His service.” (1 Timothy 1:12)

I echo what Paul states here. He goes on to say how he was ignorant in his unbelief and walked a life unworthy of the Lord, BUT “the grace of our Lord overflowed for me with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” (1 Timothy 1:14)

“But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in Him for eternal life.” (1 Timothy 1:16)

God has CHOSEN me for this mama marathon. He has given me strength and judged me faithful, appointing ME to mother the children he gifts me. I have received mercy for this reason, that in me, no matter how many times I have failed in the past or will fall short in the future, Jesus Christ might display His perfect patience as an example to those who may come to know Him as their Lord and Savior!

How beautiful to be a part of something so much greater than a career or paycheck.

When a sudden gust of wind takes my breath away and my legs feel like jello, I will press on! When my body is done, I will not give in. I tell myself repeatedly as I attach the wall in front of me that I am loved, I am chosen, I am fulfilled in Christ! Suddenly all the pain fades to the background, and all I can see is my goal in front of me. I will achieve it. I will obtain it.